Apr 3, 2013 | Bout News
DERBY: The Preview
The Atomic Bombshells – now the team to beat – have only one team between them and the Golden Skate. Unfortunately, it’s the Rockits. Meanwhile, a short-staffed Dagger Dolls have an uphill battle to stay out of last place against the Garda Belts.
The season finale. The championship. This is what long hours of skating fast and turning left has led up to. Yes, derby fans, Saturday is the moment where it all goes down.
- Will the Atomic Bombshells take their first title in three years?
- Will the Rockits upset what is arguably the best home team in MNRG history and win the Skate for the 5th time?
- Will the Doll rookies – now forced into the spotlight by retirements and injuries – rise to the occasion?
- Will the Garda Belts repeat January’s beatdown of the Dolls?
Atomic Bombshells (3-0) v Rockits (2-1)
The headline bout of the night pits the mighty Rockits against the undefeated Atomic Bombshells. This bout has been played twice before for the Golden Skate, and both times the ABS came through with the win. Make no mistake; this’ll be one that you’ll remember.
The history of the ABS/Rockits Golden Skate matchup:
“I keep seeing the image of Misfit and Mitzi holding the Golden Skate together over their heads and I want that to be Leethal and I on Saturday night.” – Diamond Rough
As mentioned, this is a matchup that has given the Atomic Bombshells the win in each of their two previous outings.
In season 3, the Atomic Bombshells – a team which had gone winless up to that point – brought in players from other MNRG hometeams and created a superteam that gave the ABS their first title. Season 6’s win came as ABS co-captains Mitzi Massacre and Misfit Maiden rebuilt the team from a strong base of rookies. In both cases, the Rockits were their opponents and fell to the ABS.
It’s now three years later. The Rockits and ABS are back. Is it a three-year cycle for the Atomic Bombshells, or will the third time pay for all for the Rockits?
New players:
Atomic Bombshells:
Rookies – NONE
Veterans from other teams – Juke Boxx (Dagger Dolls) and Crowella de Vil (Charm City)
Rockits:
Rookies – Tiny Neurotic Terror, Ana Stick, Bernasty, Rhea Volt
Veterans from other teams – Dreidel Robber (NSRG/Minneapolis), Betsy Wrecksie (Sioux Falls), Madrad (NSRG/Minneapolis)
A large addition of new players tend to be an indicator of excellent play in their second year with their team. The Rockits have many new players, while the ABS’ familiarity with one another makes their pack that much stronger.
Edge: Atomic Bombshells
Jamming:
Atomic Bombshells:
L’exi Cuter, Freeze Baby, Fannie Tanner, Lizzy the Axe (secondary: Venus Thightrap, Messi Jigler, Juke Boxx)
Rockits:
Harmony Killerbruise, Commander Nix, Dreidel Robber (secondary: Vuedoo Prodigy, Frau Scientits, Abbie Mischief)
There’s no doubt the talent pool is deep for the ABS. However, Harmony Killerbruise is the most consistent scorer in the MNRG – and Commander Nix has the ability to make clutch plays that turn the knuckles of bench coaches white. Add some SOLID jamming by Vuedoo in March’s bout and emergent work by Dreidel Robber…and the scoring potential is high.
Edge: Rockits
The Pack:
Atomic Bombshells:
We’ve talked about this all year. The ABS defense is filled with MNRG All-Star first-teamers like Diamond Rough, Hurtrude Stein, Juke Boxx, and Venus Thightrap. Skullateral Damage, Bully Jean, Madame de Stompadour, and Smoka Hontas have had big years. Really, there’s no player on the team that hasn’t made a significant gain in their gameplay this year. On the other hand, ABS players working alone or caught in the back of the pack often get bypassed for fast points.
Rockits:
If you’ve been a Rockit fan, you know what we’re going to talk about here. There’s a set of heavily-experienced players (seven years or more) that make up the blocking core of the Red Wall – particularly with Frau Scientits and Vuedoo Prodigy back. Add in the likes of Buzz Tightrear, Salvador Brawlie, and the Rockits’ newest addition (former NSRG standout Madrad) – and its game on. That said, the Rockits don’t play well from the first whistle. The Rockits’ first ten minutes are where they get in trouble for big games – and the story of a high-stake Rockit bout is always whether they recover in time.
Edge: Atomic Bombshells
Minnesota’s waiting to see who raises that skate.
The rosters:
Atomic Bombshells:
BOOMbay Safire
Bully Jean
CleoSPLATra
Diamond Rough (co-captain)
EmaLeethal (co-captain)
Fannie Tanner
Flora Flipabitch
Freeze Baby
Hurtrude Stein
Juke Boxx
L’exi-cuter
Lizzy the Axe
Messi Jigler
Mitzi Massacre
Skullateral Damage
Smoka Hontas
Venus Thightrap
Rockits:
Abbie Mischief (co-captain)
Ana Stick
BerNasty
Betsy Wrecksie
Buzz TightRear
Commander Nix (co-captain)
Dreidel Robber
Frau Scientits
Harmony Killerbruise
KillaHertz
Konceal’n Kari
Madrad
MeshugEnough
Rhea Volt
Salvador Brawlie
Scarmen Hellectra
Tiny Neurotic Terror
Vuedoo Prodigy
Not playing this bout: Crowella de Vil (ABS), Madame de Stompadour (ABS), SandBLASTHer (ABS)
Garda Belts (1-2) v Dagger Dolls (0-3)
It’s Gardas v Dagger Dolls in the 3rd-place bout on Saturday. What’s more, this is going to be an unusual matchup; the Dolls are going to be short-staffed for this bout due to circumstances beyond their control. However, don’t just expect a drubbing from the Gardas. The league has stepped in…there’s something afoot. Read on.
Let’s start with the rosters:
Garda Belts:
Anita Spankston
Citizen Pain
Crust Almighty
Dementia Darling
Frigid O’Shaughnessy
MEDUSA
Moto Fluzzi
Myrna Ploy
Olga Ogilthorpe
Rita Rawkus
Scootaloo
Second Hand Smoke
Soft Serve
Stacy Wreckt
Suzie Smashbox
Tara Bichapart (co-captain)
Wolfe Bite (co-captain)
Dagger Dolls:
Aurora Whorealis
Detroit Muff
Hanna Belle Lector
Hannah Shot First
Killsey McMurder
Norwegian Mafia
Ova Achieva
RollerCat
Shotgun Millie
Shiver Me Kimbers
Sinaminn
Tiki Torture (co-captain)
Guest player #1
Guest player #2
The Dagger Dolls
The Dagger Dolls look like they are going into this bout with a significant disadvantage. The Dolls are putting a small roster (12 players + 2 mystery players). More than a third of the rostered Dolls are new to the team, and two of those have played less than a season.
It doesn’t look quite even, does it? However, here’s what you have to look at. There’s a strong core of talent in the Dagger Doll pack that’s pretty stellar. Whether you’re talking Shiver Me Kimbers, Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, or RollerCat, there’s going to be stoppers in the line against the Gardas that’ll make their speedsters question putting on the jammer cover.
The biggest problem for the Dolls will be jamming. Most of the Dagger Doll jammers (Lydia Punch, Sagittearitup, Bombs Over Bacon) will be unavailable for this bout, and alternate jammers like Shiver Me Kimbers and Aurora Whorealis are going to be needed to shore up the defensive line. It seems as if the Dolls will roll the dice on their rookies and trust their vets to be offensive blockers…while betting big on the mighty Ova Achieva as their anchor jammer.
As to the guest players: we can tell you two things. Both have been impact players for their teams…and neither have ever put on pink for the MNRG. The league wants the fans to get two incredible bouts as always; that means we get to have a little fun with the rosters.
The Garda Belts
Look back to November’s bout and you’ll see a team on the brink of greatness. The Gardas lost to the Bombshells by three points. In the two bouts since, it’s clear that the Gardas are more talented than ever, but they still have trouble closing the game.
With the unprecedented short roster for the Dagger Dolls, this will be the Gardas’ game to lose. They’ve got a deep bench of jammers (with more waiting in the wings) and have been training all year to get away from the high-risk derby that’s kept them towards the bottom of the MNRG rankings in the past few years.
The jammers: Second Hand Smoke and MEDUSA are blisteringly fast, while rookie jammer OSHA has been showing moments of absolute brilliance. In terms of defense, the Gardas seem to be the mirror of the Rockits. Their first minutes are absolutely brilliant, but they shut down too early when in the lead and don’t keep their eyes on the win.
Still, there’s so much good happening on the track when the Garda Belts get out there. Clockwise traps, smart hitting, using each other as offensive weapons…the Gardas have come through this year looking like dangerous threats in season ten. On Saturday, the Gardas get to prove it.
See you there.