Feb 15, 2024 | Bout News

Tough Luck Bout Recap

Bout 1: Roller Vortex vs. Wednesday Warnings

The night began with a battle for third place between the Roller Vortex and the Wednesday Warnings. The Vortex finished atop the standings in the regular season, while the Warnings won the championship last year. As such, a last-place finish would be a severe disappointment for either side. The bout began with a physical jam in which Lexi Cuter took advantage of great blocking to score 4 points for the Vortex. The next jam was even better for the Vortex, as Wheelie Nelson shot straight out of the pack to take lead jammer, then continued to lap the pack with ease while Bri Zuss struggled to pass her star to Val Kyrie. The Warnings eventually did pass the star, but when all was said and done, Val Kyrie had only scored 1 point to Wheelie Nelson’s 15, taking the score up to 19-1. T-Wrecks was able to score 2 for the Warnings in the next jam – the team’s first lead jam of the night – before Sintripetal Force had a dominant jam to bring the Warnings back within striking distance. She scored 19 points in a jam that went the full two minutes, though a respectable 8 from Captain Cordelia prevented the Roller Vortex from falling behind. 

The next jam was quick, as Lexi Cuter and Bri Zuss escaped the pack nearly simultaneously. Bri Zuss was considered lead jammer, but was passed by Lexi Cuter and forced to call off the jam without any points scored. T-Wrecks then had her second lead jam of the night, where she scored 3 points to cut the deficit to 2. The next jam, though, went more favorably for the Vortex, as Lexi Cuter put up 10 to Trippin Mollz’s 4. Trippin Mollz was also sent to the box as the jam expired, giving Battlerina a power start to the next one. However, despite making her initial pass with relative ease, she was forced out of bounds twice on her only scoring pass and had to settle for 3 points. That lost opportunity would immediately come back to haunt the Vortex, as Sintripetal Force took advantage of a power jam to score 20 in the next jam. Captain Cordelia scored 8, but those points were not enough to prevent the Wednesday Warnings from taking a 49-48 lead. 

The jam that followed was possibly the most bizarre jam of the whole season: Wheelie Nelson immediately knocked Bri Zuss, her fellow jammer, out of bounds, forcing her to re-enter behind Wheelie Nelson. However, since Wheelie Nelson was a jammer and did not have to remain within the pack, she skated nearly the entire length of the track in anti-derby direction to force Bri Zuss to enter that far behind. Bri Zuss just stood where she had been knocked out, as she knew Wheelie Nelson would have to skate all the way back around to enter the pack from behind. It turned into a 2-minute game of chicken, with Warnings pivot Bizzquick attempting to get Wheelie Nelson to engage, but to no avail. The scoreless jam was met with a smattering of boos from the crowd. 

Bri Zuss, no doubt feeling robbed of the previous jam, began the next one on the jammer line again. This time, she failed to get lead jammer, but took advantage of a power jam to outscore the Vortex 9-7. Those same fans who booed the previous jam cheered enthusiastically as she scored her points. T-Wrecks, who had an excellent bout jamming, added 7 more in the next jam to extend the Warnings’ lead to 65-55. A tight next jam ended 3-3 before Wheelie Nelson outscored Trippin Mollz 5-0 to cut the deficit in half. Another close jam went 8-7 in favor of Bri Zuss, then T-Wrecks ended the half with an 8-0 jam to bring the halftime score to 84-70.

Lexi Cuter began the second half with a quick 2-0 jam, then Wheelie Nelson faced off against Bri Zuss for the first time since their scoreless battle in the first half. This time, Bri Zuss was sent to the box, allowing Wheelie Nelson to put up a 9-0 jam and cut the Warnings’ lead down to 3. T-Wrecks got 2 points back, then a straightforward 4-0 jam by Sintripetal Force gave the Warnings a 9-point lead and a little more breathing room. The next jam was another scoreless Wheelie Nelson-Bri Zuss tilt, though without the chaos of their first-half matchup. T-Wrecks followed with another lead jam and 3-0 scoreline. At this point, the Roller Vortex had settled into a pattern of passing the star as soon as they were beaten to lead jammer status. 

The following jam was another close one, as Battlerina outscored Trippin Mollz 6-4 to cut the deficit back down to 10 points. After that, Lexi Cuter took lead jammer and made her first scoring pass before locking into a battle with fellow jammer Sintripetal Force. The two got physical with each other before Lexi Cuter raced away, eventually winning the jam 12-4. This cut the lead to 101-99, though it did mean the Wednesday Warnings were the first team to hit the century mark. The next jam, a crucial one, matched up Wheelie Nelson and Bri Zuss. Wheelie Nelson took lead jammer, causing Bri Zuss to immediately pass the star to Trippin Mollz. Wheelie Nelson scored 10 points to Trippin Mollz’s 2 to take the lead for the Roller Vortex, 109-103. It was their first lead since midway through the first half. T-Wrecks answered right back, however, with a solid 4-0 jam to cut the difference down to 2. Those points were canceled out, though, by Lexi Cuter, who followed with a 4-0 jam of her own. 

The next jam gave Bri Zuss an opportunity to retake the lead that was lost under her watch, and she started it well with a 4-point scoring pass. As she came around for her second scoring pass, she attempted an apex jump, something that she specializes in. However, her apex jump was ruled unsuccessful and she was penalized with a track cut. She was still given the ability to call off the jam, though, something she would not have been allowed to do if she was penalized. Unfortunately, since the officials had called off the jam on the track, they were not able to undo that. As such, the Vortex lead stood at 114-111 while Bri Zuss began the next jam in the box. With an opportunity to extend the lead significantly, Lexi Cuter delivered for the Vortex. She put up 18 while Bri Zuss failed to score – even picking up a bruise on an unsuccessful apex jump – extending the Roller Vortex lead to 132-111. An apex jump was finally performed successfully in the next jam, though it was by Wheelie Nelson to score 4 points and further extend the lead to 25. 

T-Wrecks, as she had done all night, answered with a 3-0 jam to stop the bleeding. Lexi Cuter re-extended the lead to 25 points with a 7-4 jam before Wheelie Nelson outscored Sintripetal Force 8-6, putting the score at 151-124 in favor of the Vortex. The next jam, between Captain Cordelia and T-Wrecks, started with exactly 2 minutes left on the clock. Captain Cordelia got lead jam for the Vortex – the first time T-Wrecks failed to get lead – allowing them to let the clock run out and seal the victory. Instead, they called it off while leading the jam 4-3, setting the stage for one final jam. This time, Lexi Cuter took lead and let the game clock expire, calling it off after outscoring Sintripetal Force 8-7 to cap off a 163-134 victory. It was the first time the Vortex had ever beaten the Warnings, as they were 0-3 in the series previously. It resulted in a slight improvement over their last-place finish a season ago, while the Warnings dropped significantly from their first-place perch.

Bout 2: Bodies of Water vs. Maul Rats

The championship bout pitted the Bodies of Water against the Maul Rats. Entering the game, the Maul Rats had never beaten the Bodies of Water; however, there had been no extreme blowouts in the series. The Bodies hoped to win the title after falling short to the Wednesday Warnings last season. The bout began with BooBoo taking lead jammer for the Maul Rats and outscoring Chippa Tooth 4-1. In the next jam, Ginger Snap secured lead for the Bodies, but the jam’s only point went to Triple Shock Latte and the Maul Rats. Little Rascal tacked on 3 more in the next jam, further exciting a large, pro-Maul Rats crowd. The next jam was another quick one, as Velvet Wench outscored Fanny Smack 3-2 to bring the Rats’ lead up to 11-3. After that, The Quacken finally broke the streak of Maul Rats leads, scoring a solitary point for her team in the process. 

The bout was in dire need of a big jam, something it got in the one that followed. Chippa Tooth raced out to take lead jammer for the Bodies, leading BooBoo to pass the star to Switch Please. Chippa Tooth was eventually sent to the box, surrendering her lead privileges and giving Switch Please a power jam. Switch Please took advantage of this, as she scored a whopping 20 points – which would stand as the most in any jam all bout – to extend the Maul Rats’ lead. Chippa Tooth did score 12, but that wasn’t enough to prevent the Rats from taking the first double-digit lead of the bout. However, the Bodies began to battle back, as Ginger Snap scored 8 points to Killer Bea’s 4 in the following jam. 

The next jam went the full two minutes, as both jammers were penalized even before getting out of the pack. The jam ended 4-0 for Polar Blair and cut the Bodies’ deficit down to 7. That set up Fanny Smack to score 8 in the next jam while Triple Shock Latte was stuck behind the Bodies’ blockers, giving the Bodies their first lead of the night at 36-35. The Quacken immediately expanded on that with a 10-0 power jam, giving the Bodies of Water some breathing room. In the next jam, Krypta Night made a rare appearance with the star on her helmet, scoring a single point for the Bodies. However, that still extended the lead, as Little Rascal was held scoreless for the Maul Rats. The Bodies extended the lead even further in the following jam, as Chippa Tooth took advantage of excellent blocking and a power jam to score 14 points. She herself was also penalized, but Velvet Wench was unable to get around the Bodies’ wall in order to score. 

Needing to stop the run, Triple Shock Latte did just that, scoring 15 on a power jam to electrify the crowd and cut the Rats’ deficit to 11. The Bodies called timeout after that jam, which turned out to greatly benefit them. It didn’t look like it would immediately, as BooBoo appeared to get lead jammer for the Maul Rats, but she got out of the pack illegally, sending her to the box and meaning there was no lead for that jam. Chippa Tooth took advantage of the power jam, scoring 11 points to bring the lead to 72-51. The Quacken followed with a solid 3-0 jam, then Fanny Smack outscored Killer Bea 8-4 in the final jam of the first half. With that, the Bodies led 83-55 at halftime, putting them in prime position to win their first Golden Skate.

Despite trailing at the half, the Maul Rats’ fans were once again boisterous as the second half began. Triple Shock Latte began the half with a lead jam, but was forced to call it off quickly without either team scoring. The Rats were able to open the second half’s scoring in the next jam, though, as BooBoo scored 2 points. In the following jam, Little Rascal took advantage of excellent Maul Rats blocking to score a whopping 16 points, while the Bodies were held scoreless as they repeatedly failed to execute a star pass. That cut the lead back down to 10, though there was a catch for the Maul Rats: Little Rascal was called for a penalty near the end of the jam, then given a second penalty for failing to recognize the first one. This would put the Bodies on a 1-minute power jam, so the Rats used their official review to challenge the call. After an 8-minute conference between the officials, they determined that, instead of Little Rascal serving two penalties, she would serve one and team captain Killer Bea would serve the other. As the challenge was successful, the Maul Rats retained their official review. 

Fanny Smack did begin the next jam as the only jammer on the track, but wasn’t able to take full advantage and only extended the Bodies’ lead by 3 points. In the jam after that, The Quacken secured lead for the Bodies but was unable to score, as she collided hard with Maul Rats jammer Velvet Wench while entering the pack on her scoring pass and was forced to call it off. However, Velvet Wench was penalized for the hit, giving Ginger Snap a power jam in the next jam. However, after securing lead, she forfeited those privileges with a penalty of her own, though she only sat in the box for a short period of time. This was because Killer Bea – after receiving the star from Velvet Wench – picked up a penalty as well, abbreviating the penalty. Killer Bea later committed a second penalty in the same jam, causing her to foul out while Ginger Snap scored 16 points, bringing the lead up to 102-73. Triple Shock Latte stopped the bleeding in the next jam, scoring 4 to cut the deficit to 25 points. They were the first Maul Rats points in 8 jams.

While that jam offered a break from the penalty-filled ones that had become commonplace, the next jam returned to that style of play. Both Chippa Tooth and BooBoo were sent to the box, with Chippa Tooth coming out with a 10-8 advantage to slightly extend the Bodies’ lead. In the following jam, it was difficult for either jammer to break free from the pack, as Little Rascal finally secured lead roughly a minute in. She put up 4 points before calling it off, something which was repeated by Velvet Wench in the next jam. That cut the scoreline to 112-93, with the Bodies of Water still holding the lead. One more 4-0 Maul Rats jam followed, as Triple Shock Latte electrified the crowd and cut the deficit to 15 points. Chippa Tooth interrupted the run with a 4-2 jam against BooBoo, but the Rats had yet another 4-0 jam courtesy of Little Rascal to make the score 116-103. In the next jam, Ginger Snap was first out of the pack, causing the Maul Rats to hand the star to Switch Please, but forfeited lead privileges when she committed a penalty. This gave Switch Please the opportunity for a high scoring jam, something which she was able to accomplish. She sent the crowd into a frenzy by scoring a whopping 17 points, though Ginger Snap had 4 and attempted an apex jump in the jam’s final few seconds. The jump was unsuccessful, resulting in a track cut penalty and a bout tied at 120 with 3:26 to go. 

The Bodies of Water called timeout to catch their breath, with fans of both sides energized during the break. Triple Shock Latte began the next jam as the only jammer on the track, though she was penalized early, giving Ginger Snap a power jam. She scored 6 points (the scoreboard originally said 8, but it was amended) before calling it off, although both jammers were simultaneously penalized as the jam ended. This meant that both jammers would begin the next jam in the box before racing onto the track as soon as the whistle was blown. Their duel happened with 1:48 on the clock, meaning a Bodies of Water lead could potentially end the bout. Triple Shock Latte refused to let that happen, securing lead jammer before an exhausted Ginger Snap passed the star to Whoopsie Daisy. Triple Shock Latte scored 5, but Whoopsie Daisy put up 4 before the jam was called off. Since the Maul Rats had retained their official review, they used it as a timeout to force a final jam with 19 seconds left.

With the score at 130-125 in favor of the Bodies, Chippa Tooth and BooBoo lined up to decide the season. The Bodies began short a blocker, as Scam Likely was in the penalty box. Both teams fought tooth-and-nail to prevent the opposing jammer from securing lead, but BooBoo got through 14 seconds into the jam. She made her first 4-point pass while Chippa Tooth was stuck behind a stout Maul Rats wall, cutting the deficit to 1, then came around for her second pass. She passed the pack along the outside and immediately called off the jam, securing a 133-130 win for the Rats. Skaters in pink stormed onto the track to celebrate, but the officials weren’t as quick to hand out the Golden Skate. They had called a track cut on BooBoo during her final pass, but had allowed her to call off the jam, something that should not have happened if she was penalized. (A similar thing happened to Bri Zuss of the Wednesday Warnings in the third place bout.) The officials got together to discuss the call, and when their conference had ended, both teams celebrated as if they had won. Then, the call was made official: there was no track cut, although BooBoo was awarded 3 points, not 4, on the last pass. That was still enough to secure the title for the Maul Rats, winning by a final score of 132-130. The Rats won the championship after going 0-3 in the regular season, while the Bodies of Water were forced to settle for their second runner-up finish in as many years.

While that marked the end of the home team season, Minnesota Roller Derby has not finished its slate of bouts at the Roy. The All-Star program will compete on April 27, as Minnesota Nice takes on Arch Nemesis, the B-team of St. Louis-based Arch Rival Roller Derby, while the All-Stars take on the Supernovas from California Derby Galaxy, a coalition of leagues based in the Bay Area.

Written by: Aidan Hofstedt