Raining Destruction: The Preview

Mar 4, 2016 | Bout News

There’s no shortage of meanings that we attach to the average everyday rainstorm. There’s the dark and stormy night, April showers bringing May flowers, praying for rain to end the drought, rain on your wedding day, or even rayheeeaaaaain, as the case may be. Rain can mean chaos, cleansing, tumult, foreboding, death, or new life. Here in Minnesota in the month of March, rain usually means the end of something and the beginning of something new. Our frozen hearts and front yards are slowly thawing out, we might finally be done shoveling snow for a little while and get to start planning how to clean up all the dog poop and cigarette butts that have accumulated under the snowbank over the past few months. We’re turning the corner, and that short, beautiful Summer suddenly feels a lot less far away.

For the Minnesota RollerGirls, March’s Raining Destruction event means the end of the home season in the all-important battle for the Golden Skate. With last year’s champions, the Dagger Dolls, stuck in the consolation game, we know we’ll have a new champion this year, either the Atomic Bombshells or the Rockits.

Championship Bout

The Rockits are the odds-on favorite, having won every game so far this season. Aside from the nail-biter against the Atomic Bombshells earlier in the year, they’ve won all their bouts in convincing fashion, usually leading the entire game. Their blocking corps, led by veterans MadRad and Scarmen Hellectra, have been tenacious and effective all year, aggressively pushing jammers out of bounds again and again, and it seems like at least one of their three primary jammers – Rhea Volt, Obscene Sheen, and Dreidel Robber – are always having a blockbuster night.

The thing that must be nagging in the back of Rockit fans’ mind, however, is that the last time the Rockits met the Bombshells was before the mid-season addition of Brickyard. Roller derby is too much of a team-focused game for a single player to carry a team, but it’s possible that Brickyard’s agility and strength as jammer adds exactly what the Bombshells roster needs to take the title.

Consolation Bout

The Garda Belts and Dagger Dolls have both had their share of stumbles this season, but both teams are still jam-packed with talent and hungry for that last win to end the season on a high note. The Dagger Dolls are coming off a heartbreaking semifinal loss to the Rockits that was close right up until the end of the game, expect to see them use Jacked Pipes heavily as jammer as long as she doesn’t accumulate too many penalties. The Garda Belts have been putting lots of new heads under the star helmet cover lately to promising results. Garda fans will be hoping for Hal’Luci-Jen and Beach Slap to continue the progress they’ve made growing into the jammer role.

Further in the Distance

Of course, our excitement at the championship bout every year is always tinged with hints of sadness that we won’t get to root on our favorite team until next fall and also the creeping feeling that a new storm is brewing. During all this home season preparation, the Minnesota RollerGirls All-Stars have been getting ready to start their season in April against the Rocky Mountain Roller Girls of Denver, CO, and you will not want to miss that either.

Get your Tickets now for Saturday’s bout and be ready for some excellent derby action.