Roller Grrrrrrrrls: Atomic Bombshells Claim Pre-Season Dominance

Oct 26, 2014 | Bout News

Roller Grrrrrrrrls: Atomic Bombshells Claim Pre-Season Dominance

The Minnesota RollerGirls continued the tradition of ushering in a new home season with a 4-team mini-tournament. Unlike the season championship, which evolves over months and earns a team the coveted Golden Skate, the pre-season tournament completes in the course of an evening and earns its victor the equally shiny but subsantially less coveted “Gilded Steak”. Fans at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium got to see new and returning skaters for each home team show what they’ve been working on over the offseason. With lead changes in all four bouts, the Minnesota RollerGirls season 11 promises to be hard-fought and exciting all the way through the championship bout. The Atomic Bombshells won the dominant pre-season position, but they’ll have to fight hard to remain in first when the season starts in earnest in November.

Bout 1 – Gardas vs Rockits

Ida Sockher, recent transfer from the Babe City Rollers, jumped into the deep end in her first Minnesota RollerGirls bout, lining up on the jammer line against Rockits jammer Rhea Volt. After jostling at the start of the jam, Volt exploded from the pack while the Rockits wall of Ana Stick, Obscene Sheen (herself a recent transfer from the North Star Roller Girls), and MadRad held back Ida long enough for Volt to rack up 5 points and call off the jam. The Gardas evened the score over the next few jams, setting up Ida to jam again, this time against Salvador Brawlie, with 15 minutes left in the game.

Ida got a chance to properly introduce herself to the crowd at the Roy on the next jam, as a cutting the track penalty on Brawlie gave Ida a 30-second power jam opportunity. Fighting her way twice through the tenacious blocking of Scarmen Hellectra, Ida racked up 10 points for the Gardas, giving them a 17-8 lead and momentum that would carry through most of the game.

Scootaloo and Obscene Sheen then traded quick kill-it-and-call-it jams, then Ida Sockher and Rhea Volt did the same to make it 24-19 Gardas with 7 mintues left in the game. Scoot then lined up vs. Sheen again, and things started to get a little wild. First Scootaloo committed a track cut, but then Sheen did the same mere seconds later, creating a race to the Surly Brewing Sin Bin. Scootaloo was released as soon as Obscene Sheen sat down, and then Sheen had to serve the same penalty time as Scoot per WFTDA Rules. Since neither jammer was granted lead jammer status, both were out on the track for the remainder of the two minute jam. Scoot performed better against the Rockits wall than Sheen did against the tall, blonde two-headed monster of Tara Bichapart and Second Hand Smoke, racking up 14 points and increasing the Gardas’ lead to 38-20.

Mae Gusta got back 9 for the Rockits on the next jam, but Second Hand Smoke quickly answered with 9 points for the Gardas on the jam following. That set up Obscene Sheen jamming against Tara Bichapart with 2 minutes left and the Rockits down 29-47. Sheen then decided she wasn’t going to let Ida Sockher be the only new MNRG skater to make a statement in her first bout as a Minnesota RollerGirl. After quickly sneaking through the inside for lead jammer, Sheen juked and dodged her way to 15 points while the Rockits blocking line of Salvador Brawlie, Tiny Neurotic Terror, KillaHertz and Scarmen Hellectra contained Tara. Suddenly the Rockits were in striking distance, 44-47 with just under a minute remaining.

A 4-point jam by the Gardas’ Suzie Smashbox seemed for a moment to dash the Rockits’ hopes, but a timeout was called with just 0:02 remaining on the game clock, allowing for one more jam that would go for either two minutes or until called off. Everything bounced just right for the Rockits on that last jam, with Gardas jammer Second Hand Smoke going to the penalty box for use of forearms, giving Rhea Volt a precious 30 seconds jamming alone for the Rockits. Volt recovered from big hits from Crust Almighty to finish her first scoring pass, then Sheen held back the released Second Hand Smoke just long enough for Volt to complete another 4-point pass and call off the jam. The scoreboard stood at 53-51 in favor of the Rockits, who advanced to play for the Gilded Steak.

Bout 2 – Atomic Bombshells vs Dagger Dolls

Fannie Tanner started this bout doing something she’s done many times before. After bouncing around at the back of the pack, she bore down and fought through the Dolls’ wall for lead jammer. With Dolls jammer MEDUSA still stuck in the pack, she scored 5 points, then called off the jam. The rest of the Bombshells jammer rotation continued the pattern, with Freeze Baby, Crowella De Vil, and Hurtrude Stein contributing to the Bombshells’ 14-0 run to start the game.

The Dolls then sent rookie jammer Jacked Pipes to meet Fannie in her next jam with 16 minutes on the clock. Not many skaters play as jammer in their first bout, fewer still get lead jammer when they do. But it’s a hell of a rookie who gets lead over All-Star jammer Fannie Tanner then scores 2 to end a scoring drought for her team. If anyone had any doubt why the Dolls selected Pipes with the first overall pick in this season’s rookie draft, they should doubt no longer.

Killsey McMurder added to the Dolls’ total on the next jam, but Crowella and Jess LaRotonda struck back for the Bombshells on the subsequent 2 jams, widening their lead to 33-10 with 9 minutes remaining in the game. Jacked Pipes then took her second trip to the jammer line, and this one made that first jam seem like a warm-up. After quickly gaining lead, Pipes maintained composure while Fannie Tanner attempted to stop her jammer-on-jammer. Fannie received a forearm penalty in the process, giving Pipes a clear shot at the Bombshells wall. Taking advantage from some precise offensive blocking work by MEDUSA and Hannah Shot First, Pipes racked up 23 points before calling off the jam, tying the game 33-33 with 7 minutes left.

A slew of penalties commenced on the next jam, with both Bombshells jammer Mugsy Marauder and Dolls jammer BiPolar Bear, along with blockers from both teams, taking a trip to the box. However, even with the pack thinned by penalties, Diamond Rough and Smoka Hontas managed to contain the Dolls jammer to just 3 points to Mugsy’s 15, creating a lead again for the Bombshells. BiPolar Bear started the next jam in the box, but passed the star to MEDUSA, who made a mess of the Bombshells wall after Kung POW Bitchin’ forced a forearm penalty on Bombshells jammer Roley Ann Lena. MEDUSA scored 15 to Roley’s 4, leaving the Bombshells with just a one point lead with 3 minutes remaining in the game.

Jacked Pipes outscored Hurtrude Stein on the next jam, giving the Dolls a 58-56 lead as the clocked ticked down to 2 minutes left. Fannie Tanner then took the line against Hannah Shot First and showed us what a veteran Bombshells jammer can do. A botched star pass put MEDUSA in the penalty box as jammer, leaving Fannie alone on the track against the Dolls blockers. Receiving strong offensive support from Trudy, Roley, and Naughty Kitty, Fannie cut and juked her way to 5-point pass after 5-point pass. When the dust had settled, the Bombshells had gone from a 2-point deficit to a 27-point victory in just one jam.

Third Place Bout – Garda Belts vs. Dagger Dolls

The Garda Belts and Dagger Dolls, losing teams of the first two bouts, then faced off for third place in the preseason tournament. Jacked Pipes continued her run of success for the Dolls on the first jam, taking advantage of a false start penalty on Suzie Smashbox to skate out for an easy lead jammer and 14 quick points. The Dolls had shot out to a 14-0 lead right out of the gate.

That lead proved to be short-lived, however, as the Gardas struck back hard on the next jam. Gardas jammer Ida Sockher fought through a hard shoulder hit from Hanna Belle Lector to earn lead jammer status while Tara Bichapart and Second Hand Smoke contained Dolls’ jammer Killsey McMurder. The Dolls then struggled to get their jammer out of the pack, eventually opting for a star pass to pivot BiPolar Bear, but BiPolar Bear cut the track after receiving the jammer’s helmet cover, meaning she had to serve in the penalty box as jammer. Meanwhile, Ida took advantage of the Dolls’ confusion to run up the score for the Garda Belts, earning 30 points before the jam expired. The Gardas led 30-14 with 16 minutes remaining in the bout and would not give up the lead for the rest of the time.

Dolls Blockers Kung POW Bitchin’ and Killsey McMurder limited the Gardas to just 3 points on the next jam, which went for the full two minutes due to jammer penalties, but a long string of success followed for the Garda Belts, who earned lead jammer on 7 of the next 8 jams, sending out a long list of jammers to score against the Dolls’ blockers. Suzie Smashbox, Second Hand Smoke, Shiva Shankin’, Ida Sockher, Tara Bichapart, and rookie Bri Zuss each added to the Gardas total, as their total climbed up to 36, then 50, then 75, then 88. Meanwhile, tenacious blocking from the Gardas kept the Dolls to 2 or 3 points per jam. By the time the clock ticked down to under 5 minutes, the Gardas were up 88-22.

The Dolls showed a little bit more muscle on the final jams of the game, with Jacked Pipes getting a quick 3-point jam followed by strong effort by Shotgun Millie as Winona Collider, Kattoo, and Psycho Novia stymied the Gardas’ jammer. Lydia Punch added two more for the Dolls on the final jam, but the Gardas’ lead was too great to overcome. As the final whistle sounded, the Gardas led 91-30, earning them third place in the preseason standings.

Gilded Steak Bout – Atomic Bombshells vs Rockits

With three bouts already in the books, the crowd in the Roy Wilkins Auditorium bristled in anticipation as the Atomic Bombshells and Rockits skated out to see which team would claim preseason dominance and go home with the Gilded Steak. The Rockits sent out Rhea Volt on the jammer line against the Bombshells’ Crowella De Vil. Fitting for these two incredibly talented teams, Volt got out first as lead jammer with Crow right on her tail. They approached the pack at top speed, each attempting to eke out an extra point before the jam ended. Volt called off the jam after passing 2 orange blockers, but Crow had stolen a point of her own, making the score 2-1 Rockits.

The Rockits slowly notched up the score after that, with Obscene Sheen, Mae Gusta, and Volt each claiming lead, scoring some points, and calling off the jam. After Volt’s second jam, the Rockits led 10-1 with 14 minutes remaining in the bout. That set up Hurtrude Stein (“Trudy”) to jam for the Bombshells against Salvador Brawlie of the Rockits.

Hard-earned leads are easily lost. That’s the cruel reality of Roller Derby. Trudy was happy to be the one to deliver that cruelty to the Rockits on the next jam. After jockeying for position off the line, Trudy escaped the pack for lead jammer while Bombshells blockers SandblastHER delivered Brawlie to the infield and drew her back. The Rockits completed a star pass to Obscene Sheen during Trudy’s first scoring pass, but Sheen was contained by Madame de Stompadour long enough for Trudy to earn another pass, tying up the game 10-10 for the Bombshells.

Bombshells sophomore Terror Swift then took the line against returning veteran Mae Gusta, herself a former Bombshell now jamming for the Rockits. Both jammers had a hell of a time on the next jam, fighting hard behind relentless blockers that continually stopped their progress and pushed them out of bounds. Two blockers on each side formed particularly effective tag teams, with the Bombshells Diamond Rough and Smoka Hontas stopping Mae Gusta while the Rockits’ MadRad and Tegan N’ ScareYa teaming up in front/back “Boat and Anchor” formation to contain Swift. The Rockits walls began to fall apart towards the end of the jam, however, with multiple skaters going out on penalties, opening up an opportunity for Terror Swift to score 11 points and expand the Bombshells’ lead.

Usually the penalty box only has room for two blockers, but if one blocker is sent to the box while another is standing in the box (in the last 10 seconds of her penalty), a jam can start with three blockers in the box, leaving only one on the track. The Rockits found themselves in just this situation on the subsequent jam, sending out Ana Stick as a lone blocker to try to stop the Bombshells’ Fannie Tanner and assist her jammer Rhea Volt. Now, Ana Stick is a talented blocker, but there’s only so much one person can do to contain Fannie Tanner, who quickly got lead jammer and started on a scoring tear through the Rockits’ wall. Fannie kept on the offensive as Rockits blockers returned to the track, earning one pass after another as Rhea Volt served out a track cut penalty in the box. With a veteran wall of Diamond Rough, Hurtrude Stein, Madame de Stompadour, and Crowella De Vil shutting down Rhea, Fannie skated to a 31-point jam that put the Bombshells up 52-10 with 8 minutes remaining in the game.

That lead proved to be more than enough for the Bombshells, who kept the Rockits to just 6 points through the rest of the game while Fannie and Roley Ann Lena expanded the Bombshells’ lead on the remaining jams. Obscene Sheen had another impressive jam for the Rockits in the closing minutes, but as time ran out the final score read 70-20 in favor of the Bombshells, who lifted the Gilded Steak with pride, showing themselves as the team to beat in Minnesota RollerGirls Season 11.