Oct 29, 2013 | Bout News
Rockits: Season 10
Captains: MeshugEnough & Buzz TightRear
Potential jammers: Commander Nix, Dreidel Robber, Madrad, Rhea Volt
Last year’s ranking: 2nd
Number of Golden Skates: 4 (2nd, 4th, 5th, & 7th season)
The Rockits have been the standard bearer of derby excellence for the MNRG. Every year, the Rockits have been the team to get past to raise the Golden Skate. They’ve been infamous in fielding a team of cool, competent, utterly competitive vets from the early seasons of the MNRG year after year after year. This will be the year that the Rockits must enter the second stage of their trajectory.
Rockit fans, let’s rip off the bandage and get it over with. GONE TO THE ALL-STARS: Harmony Killerbruise, the alpha female of Minnesota jamming. GONE TO THE ALL-STARS: Scarmen Hellectra, one of the most storied players from the MNRG’s first two seasons. ON LEAVE: Killahertz and her buzzsaw shoulders and hips. GONE TO THE ALL-STARS: Vuedoo Prodigy, the first line of Rockit defense. Gone, gone, gone.
It’s true. The Rockits look vulnerable for the first time in years.
Captaining the ship: MeshugEnough and Buzz TightRear. One of that class of 3rd-season vets, Shug hugely stepped up this past season and now plays as part of the MNRG All-Stars. You’re going to hear MeshugEnough from her seat on the bench yelling for a few months as her fibula repairs itself, but this may turn out well. Captains stuck off the track can be a huge help. Unlike gameday bench coaches, they’re intimately aware of the ups and downs of the team because they’re still at practice, still training their team, still watching for strength.
Meanwhile…it’s TightRear in the front. We’ve talked a lot about this woman over the past year. A player hailing from Madison, WI, Buzz has been at the core of the MNRG’s All-Star pack’s strength and cohesion. With so many new players to the team (over half of the active roster), the captains must quickly get their recruits into the gestalt mind that’s served the team so well in previous years.
So who are these new players?
Took it on the run: The ref formerly known as REO Bleedwagon foreswore her pledge of no bias, renamed herself Surly Bird, and put on the Rockits’ Sparkly Red.
The coaches say:
Her experience is indispensable to a team that values victory by being smart and savvy (and patriotic). Birdie possesses an infectious energy and a passion for the sport. There is vast greatness in her roller derby future.
The Thrilla: Second up, it’s Manila Ice. Early reports from our sources in the Debu-Taunt league were that this’d be a player to watch. Appears the Rockits thought so as well.
The coaches say:
Manila Ice…is a remarkable team player, and beams confidence even in unfamiliar situations. Already on her way there, this season you’ll see this rookie Rockit become harder, better, faster, stronger.
Don’t Run, Don’t Hide: Rockit fans, meet Tegan N. Scare-ya. Scare-ya’s fresh talent from the derby-saturated Pacific Northwest and jumped from Rose City’s draft pool into another risky situation; getting drafted to the MNRG is no easy feat. Welcome to the Twin Cities.
The coaches say:
She has absolutely killer track awareness and intuition, and is extremely enthusiastic and dedicated to the hard work that’s required of a Rockit newbie.
MeshugEnough wanted to also point out two late-comers to Season 9…just in case you missed them the first time.
MeshugEnough:
Betsy Wrecksie was a transfer from the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz. Betsy is an old-school vet (derby DOB 2007) with one of the best attitudes in the sport today. An extraordinarily powerful and composed blocker who’s hard to move or rattle, she plays with purpose and knows her strategy back to front. Betsy serves on the WFTDA Rules Committee, and the Rockits value her knowledge of the ever-evolving ruleset.
Madrad transferred from the North Star Roller Girls, the league with which she started her derby career in 2009. Her aggressive, dynamic style of play and vocal communication have been incredible assets to the Rockits. Madrad is fun and challenging to skate with and against, and a strong blocker or jammer. She made the All-Star charter and has only gotten more focused from those practices over the summer.
Don’t call it a comeback: While the team has lost many of its vets, this is no green (you should excuse the expression, Garda fans) team. Abbie Mischief and Frau Scientits continue to lay down their hits and wall up like it was 2010. In addition, they’ve also gained back one of their best (and loudest)…the magnificent Coochie Coup has unretired. Apparently, she needed to hit people more. She’ll have ample opportunity.
Who’s scoring tonight? With Harmony Killerbruise now wearing All-Star aqua and army, the team is going to need to find new, crazy speedsters willing to put their health on the line for the team. Dreidel and Commander Nix seem likely candidates; they’re going to need more. Is Rhea Volt going to take the jammer cover like she did last Saturday? The woman looked at home careening through Bombshells. Will Madrad bring her magicscience to the Rockit scoreboard? We’ll find out shortly.
‘Merica: every team has their quirks…but the Rockits seem to burn through theirs every year. This year, you’ll note a slightly good ol’ girl bent to Team Robot. If you see Rockitbot on monster truck tires, don’t worry too much. We’re sure it’s a phase.
Finally. We’ve spoken in this preview of weaknesses and challenges for the Rockit team. Don’t forget: this team has won four of the nine Championships. They’re going for Golden Skate #5 this year. They’ve gotten their ‘robot’ nickname because the Rockits have been machines over the past decade. Ruthless, unstoppable machines.
MeshugEnough:
No team is more thirsty for victory than the Rockits. A team seeking to conquer the derby galaxy cannot be complacent with success or failure. We played our robot-equivalent-of-hearts out, and hope that we made our fans and America proud. The Gilded Steak tournament revealed exactly what we need to do in the coming weeks and months to earn the coveted Golden Skate.
Get ready for stage two.