Oct 28, 2013 | Bout News
Dagger Dolls: Season 10
Captains: Naughty Kitty & Aurora Whorealis
Potential jammers: Psycho Novia, Naughty Kitty, Shiver Me Kimbers, Sagittearitup, Destiny’s Problem Child
Last year’s ranking: 4th
Number of Golden Skates: 2 (1st & 8th season)
The confetti and balloons from this year’s draft are no distant memory. Their new black/pink uniforms have barely gotten a workout. Nonetheless, the Dagger Dolls are already looking like a newer, fresher version of the team to beat that raised the Golden Skate two years ago…only to go the cellar last year. No team’s ever pulled off successive years of 4th to 1st, but the Dolls seemed jam-packed with talent old and new last Saturday. No win will be simple this year, but the Dolls have the talent to go the distance.
At the top of the Dollhouse? Aurora Whorealis and Naughty Kitty. Doll fans know the sound of Kitty on the track; it’s the sound of a jammer screeching to a halt as NK stops her again. Kitty is where the power jam goes to die, and she’s sharing the reins with Aurora. A. Whore came to us only last year. The MNRG is Aurora’s third league in this athlete’s life, and she’s made herself right at home. A. Whore’s SmartFastAgileMouthyAwesome…your basic nightmare as a derby player…and her energy has made the young Doll absolutely indispensable within the league.
We contacted the captains about their newest Dolls. Naughty Kitty only noted that she “…picked all our rookies based strictly on the fact that they are pretty. It is a requirement to be on the Dolls.” Aurora seemed to have a few more things to say.
Regarding BiPolar Bear (Beebs), A. Whore spoke to her attitude and natural skillset. “She stayed under the radar & we snatched her up as soon as we could!” said Aurora. “Of course we knew she would look super hot in black & pink! Beebs, as we like to call her, has tenacious blocking & jamming skills that go with her never-give-up attitude. Watch for her gorgeous smile & contagious laugh while she stuffs the other jammer & moves walls for her own!”
The Dolls also took two new players with little to no previous derby skills at all.
Aurora put it like this:
“Kung POW Bitchin’ also showed up with no previous derby skills, but you wouldn’t know that from watching her skate. Over the summer she spent countless hours honing her derby skills outside of practice. From skating behind her two kiddos in their stroller, to skating nearly every paved inch of the tri-county area. This lady hits so hard, your grandma can feel it. Watch for her blocking skills. She’ll probably clear the entire pack for our jammers.”
“Who would think that a girl that showed up to tryouts with old school rink skates never having seen a derby bout & never having skated in roller skates would turn out to be the top draft pick for season 10…oh wait.. WE DID! Destiny’s Problem Child has an extensive hockey background that translated quickly into amazing derby skills…Don’t let her quiet demeanor fool you, she’s got the skills to pay the bills. Watch for her in our jammer rotation, you won’t be disappointed!
Des – like Commander Nix in Season Seven and Fannie Tanner two years ago- had a lot of old timers sit up in their seats and wonder, “Who is THAT?” in her opening bout. As a new jammer, Destiny’s Problem Child’s poise on the track is going to make playing the Dolls just that much more difficult.
Speaking of difficult: one last, new member: Kayzilla. Kayzilla comes to us from the North Stars of Minneapolis (as did Aurora and Kitty) and is another of our sister league’s storied triple threats wanting to play in the 651. Aurora said of her old teammate,”Her previous experience, super fun/nerdy personality & of course her ridiculously badass skating ability made her a pick a no-brainer for the Dolls. She’s cute, loves Disney movies & baking… and will crush you AND all of your dreams on the track. It’s no surprise that not only did we pick her, but so did the All-Stars.”
The COVETED Gilded Steak: Did the Dolls just pull out two difficult bouts? The Dolls did indeed; despite power jams by the opposing team in the closing minutes both games, the Doll defense stayed clean and on the track, holding opposing teams and forcing errors. It didn’t hurt that Kayzilla put up an unprecedented 29-point jam in the final jam of the night. When asked about the one-night tournament, Naughty Kitty said, “Nothing surprised me about how we did in the Gilded Steak tourney. We worked hard leading up to that bout and it showed. It may have been a shock to a lot of others how we did, but we went into the night knowing our hard work would pay off. ”
Hiding in plain sight: Two key players on the Doll roster stayed out of play due to nine month injuries. Kitty’s returned to the track…AS HAS PSYCHO NOVIA. Oh, did you forget about little Ms Psycho? Only the #1 scoring threat in season eight, the Dolls’ mighty jammer has returned. As ever, Psycho will rely on the Dolls’ top-flight defense to open holes and protect her in the pack lanes…but the new Dolls will have all their jammers’ backs.
The second-season rule: Jammers and blockers have different trajectories through roller derby. A hot new scoring engine can slap on a jammer star and shoot for the front of the pack and derby glory within a few months of getting drafted. For a blocker, you usually need several months of hitting and entering into your team’s hive mind before you start kicking real ass in the pack. A large number of second-year players seems to be a good indicator of how well a team will play in the upcoming season. The Dolls have brought back SIX second-year vets. Let’s watch what happens.
We’ll leave you with Naughty Kitty’s final words on her team.
“The Dollies this season are a whole new team. We are hard-working and competitive, but still know how to have fun and win without being douchebags. We have an amazing sense of teamy-ness (totally not a word) You can have all the talent in the world, but if you don’t work well together, you are not going to win.”